So lets get real here for a minute. I have been in Tennessee all summer with my boyfriend of over 4 years. We know each other very well and I have to say I am beyond comfortable around him. I say and do things around him that I would not fathom of doing around others. He is so unjudgmental of me it is amazing, and when I say this I am most definitely talking about conversations/thoughts along with appearance. I can actually count on my hands the number of times I have put on make-up and dried my hair this summer it is so few.
So what am I getting at? Well, I go back to Michigan this weekend for school and while I am very secure with who I am, I would be lying if I said I do not care at all what others think about me. This includes my appearance; I do not want to come across as the total slob just as much as I do not want to be known as the snob! Again it is about balance! I will be meeting a lot of new people this fall, along with reuniting with friends and some family. It makes me nervous, excite, but mostly aware. I think that is the biggest thing, getting ready to go back home is making me more aware of my appearance.
As I mentioned, awareness does not have to be a bad thing, I mean without some awareness, we wouldn’t brush our hair or rub on some deodorant each morning! However, what I am going make a point of is not to be over aware. It is so easy to be put in a space with a bunch of other women and start to compare and I can be guilty of this as much as the next woman. However, my plan for now is to make my self conscious of these behaviors (over awareness of appearance and comparing) in hopes to avoid and keep them to a minimum because really what do these behaviors do for me…. nothing! Absolutely nothing! So, while the last few days I have become a bit more aware of my pimples, less muscular than I prefer arms, or stomach pooch, I am making a point to recognize it, accept it for what it is and move on to more important things because trust me I can think of way better ways to spend my time!